National Offend A Feminist Week: Feminist Newspeak Dictionary

While conducting research on feminists I stumbled across a feminist blog which had leaked a partial dictionary of Newspeak terms for use by feminists and their fellow leftist comrades. The dictionary is clearly still in work, but offers good insight into the mind of a feminist. I present my findings to you in honor of National Offend A Feminist Week:
  • Abortion — the sacred rite of a womon having her child mass of tissue killed disposed of up to and maybe a little after live birth. Because choice, yo.
  • Economics — the “science” invented by The Patriarchy to advance such lies as the idea that the market will correct a wage gender gap and that there is no such thing as free lunch (or contraception).
  • Gender gap — any statistically significant difference between men and womyn such that men appear better than womyn, which is obviously an indication of sexism. Note that any statistically significant difference between men and womyn in which womyn appear better than men is an example of grrl power and proof that womyn are better than men; it has nothing to do with lower standards or special privileges applied to womyn.
  • Grrl power — that special, mystical power available only to womyn which makes womyn superior to men in all ways. Our research has not yet solved the paradox in which men have managed come into positions of power to oppress womyn despite being inferior through lack of grrl power.
  • Herstory — Newspeak replacement for the oppressive, patriarchal “history” (there’s a male pronoun “his” in there and we can’t have that!).
  • Housewife — brutally oppressed victim of The Patriarchy. Unless she is a housewife by choice, in which case she is a traitor to all womyn. Be sure to remember such disgusting traitors during your Two Minutes Hate.
  • Intersectionality — the theory of compound victimhood. While womyn, blacks, homosexuals, etc., are all oppressed victims of The Patriarchy, a black lesbian womon, for example, is a doubleplusvictim.
  • Misogynist — thoughtcriminal; any supporter of The Patriarchy and/or anyone who disagrees with feminism.
  • Patriarchy — the system that oppresses womyn everyone and is the cause of all the world’s problems. Every. Single. Problem. Why do voters (including many womyn) elect far more men than womyn to public office? Patriarchy! Why is there global warming climate change? Patriarchy!
  • Privilege — opposite of victimhood. Privilege compounds in the same way that victimhood compounds, so a white heterosexual man is doubleplusprivileged. If you find yourself debating an anti-feminist, calling your opponent privileged is an effective debate tactic to attack his argument without having to actually address his claims.
  • Rape Culture — a culture or society which does not summarily execute a man accused of raping a womon, even if there is evidence that the sex was consensual or that the accuser is lying. Rape is a special crime against womyn so the normal presumption of innocence and burden of proof for all other crimes must be removed for rape cases. There’s no need to fear that men will be falsely convicted because womyn never falsely accuse men of rape.
  • Slut — as defined by The Patriarchy, this is a promiscuous and immoral womon. Take back this word! In Newspeak, a slut is an empowered womon who enjoys sex so much that she can’t afford all her contraception and has to have the State force taxpayers to pay for it.
  • Vagina — the source of grrl power and the symbol of the power of womyn. The vagina also has the power to magically give life to a fetus, which becomes a living baby after birth (The Patriarchy has written embryology textbooks which falsely claim that life begins at conception, an obvious lie to control womyn’s bodies). Such powerful symbols as vaginas should be plastered all over the world: you should write plays about them, write books about them, get tattoos of them…heck, you should dress up as them! (We’re not sure why, but for some reason people tend to think feminists who are obsessed with vaginas are lesbians.)
  • Womon/Womyn — Newspeak replacement for the oppressive, patriarchal “woman” and “women”.
  • Womyn’s and Gender Studies — the study of new ways to Blame The Patriarchy.

Feminist Newspeak is constantly changing so I’ll try to keep this dictionary up to date.

UPDATE: More feminist Newspeak has been translated at Chateau Heartiste.

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2 thoughts on “National Offend A Feminist Week: Feminist Newspeak Dictionary

  1. Pingback: STEM subjects are hard, causing many students to drop out of them | The Null Hypotheses

  2. Pingback: Gender Studies Degrees: Useless | The Null Hypotheses

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